I recently noticed i now have 3 followers.. MY GOD! , i can feel my blog growing and spreading my wonderful and charismatic words into the hearts of the people! . Welcome to my house , reader ! . Hope you enjoy my quasi monthly updates =DD .
About a week ago , i started to read Twilight (yes i know i suck , blah blah blah blah) , at the request of someone , which you can probably imagine who it is , given the power of suggestion she has over me >_> . That reminds me , i still need her a book of my own ... i got one in mind that's just perfect @__@ . MUAHAHAHA! .
Anyways , Twilight. So far its been pretty close to the overall story of the movie , but i gotta admit.. Isabella is a somewhat emo pesimistic overthinker teeneage drama queen... i think i like her.. She reminds me of tons of girls i know , and even to some extent ... myself >_< (I.E : OMG what did i just say! ... i wonder if she likes me.. Is she looking this way?! ...) yeah , been there done that . Needless to say , i hated her in the movie , she's so annoying.. the one in the book is at least funny.
Now, to my female readers , just ignore the pragraph below please =) . Just skip it!! .. Tons of bad words there! , you wouldn't wanna read em! .
Now ,to my male readers , just so you know , i'm joking . This is all an elaborate joke to convince the XX part of the world that i'm really sensitive and deep and shit . I knoooooow! , i'm a genius! . After this is posted women everywhere in the world are all gonna start thinking i'm sensitive and cool and hip and all that jazz ^_^ , and i'll get chicks left and right (sup babe ^_^ , what are you up to =P ) . ( if you are a female why are you reading this?, shuush get away , now!). So yeah , this is all an elaborate trick to get women in the world to like me . As guys , you can understand me right?! . MUHAHAHA ! . I'm so clever. They don't stand a chance =( .
Now , ill leave you with a very improvised preliminary research the GITR has been conducting.
GITR Research #32302320
"El Platano" , and its effects on the human biology.
GITR reports the following ...
The "vivere" known as "El Platano" (Platanus Maximus) is composed of the following : 25% Carbs , 5% Glucose , 70% Brutein . The GITR has been extremely interested in the effects of "Brutein" on normal humans.
To conduct this experiments, we took as samples 100 American immigrants that hadn't had contact with "Platano" until they arrived here . 95% of the subjects showed what appeared to be "severe deterioration of cognoscitive and language skills" ("tabanos bien" , "ello ay", etc) , "increased levels of brown fat near the belly area" (called locally as "barriga de cervecero" ??) , "increased tolerance to alcohol" , "loss of hair" , and for some reason they all become obsessed with what the locals call "morenas" .
Truly amazing discoveries.
"El Platano" however has even more dangerous side effects on locals. Apparently , its high levels of Brutein make it a powerful teratogenic ( defined as a substance that alters normal growth) . It has the ability to completely negate some gens , including some that are thought to be related to "intelligence" , "honesty" and "punctuality" . On a minor side , it also seems to affect the gens that determine eye color (which is why that less than 2% of the population has blue/green eyes) .
On so
me more horrifying cases , it is thought to be responsible of a hideous mutation. We are not sure what mechanism are affected during the fetal stage , but this "creatures" (as we would like to call them) , seem to be surprisingly common in the population. Their local name is "Jabaos" .Shocking! , the GITR says.
The effects of "El Platano" don't end there though, even when they are no longer exposed daily to the dangerous effects of the Brutein , the progression of the "condition" (we haven't figured out what t
o call it yet) doesn't stop. The damage appears to be at a DNA level .When one of the affected chooses to "relocate" to another country , they stand out , when compared to the local (normal) population. These special cases are then labeled by the locals as "dominicanyork" and they are not often seen with good eyes. For some reason these "dominicanyork" act completely different than the locals and yet , very similarly at the same time. Our anthropologists are having a blast trying to figure out why exactly.
This GITR is not over yet ,but due to time constraints , we will only publish this small extract. Please read later for further info.
End Report
So that's about it for today.. i'm gonna go back to /attempt/ sleep . Wish you all merry xmas and have a wonderful time. BTW GITR hasn't received any gifts yet , so if anyone's willing... we like chocolate. Take care and don't do anything i wouldn't ^_^ . See you all next year , god willing! .
PD : No spell checking . I didn't feel like it. So eat my bad grammar and spelling , bitches!. (saw that in a movie... so cool) ^_^ .
