Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I got sunshine in my bag


Its funny how things workout. Flashback to last week and i was killing myself studying for a certain test, which i somehow had convinced myself i was going to fail. People around me told me i was being dramatic , but honestly , if you were in my situation wouldn't you say that my drama was justified? .

I studied a lot for the first midterm. I did what i usually did for every test since highschool , i prepared myself , i was relaxed , i didn't have diarrhea , i was in perfect conditions. So what exactly went wrong? . I have no fucking idea . To this day , i still think the Teacher took away points on purpose or i somehow offended a family of magical gnomes (I am truly sorry , if this was the case) .

I never got to see the test , so i will never really know , but what's done is done i guess (or is it? , you fucking vengeful gnomes). Anyways , all is good now , i passed the test and i'm just chilling like a chili pepper (hahahaha! , who's the man?! , i'm the man!) .

For today's post we have a rather interesting research , done as always by our loyal and restless GITR . We are gonna be talking about the best birthday gifts you can get for a friend who's birthday is coming up recently.... like for example.... september... yes , yes , please read this and pay attention.

GITR presents "Best BDAY gifts that would make your friend be grateful for at least a whole week!"

1- A freaking Gold Car



Now , i know what you are thinking! . Why would anyone want a gold car! , but its not just any car covered by real gold! . Its a freaking Mercedes Benz C63! . This is exactly the type of car someone needs in this country . What better way to battle a 12 feet high BMW Bus , than with a car covered in 10 million dollar's worth of gold! .

If you truly like your friend! , you should consider getting something like this for him. Nothing shows how much you care about someone than gifting him a car covered in gold. How will you get the money? , well thanks to today's current technology , there's not an inch of your body that couldn't be sold to some crazy clinic in Norway. Who need's 2 kidneys anyway?.

2- A Giant Gundam

Well for my tastes , i think i would have like it to be a little bit bigger. 60 feet is just too small for a Gundam. For those of you that don't know what a Gundam is , its simply a giant-japanese-deathmachine-robot. Turns out , one of those japanese genius decided to make a 60 feet replica of one of em. And its now for sale for the low price of 725 million USD! (http://www.gadgetell.com/tech/comment/the-gundam-giant-robot-yours-for-a-mere-725-million/) .

The thing needs a freaking super computer (for a mere 2 million USD!) just to walk! . Now , i don't know about you guys , but i think anyone on their right mind would appreciate a 60 feet giant robot on their yard. Definitely a perfect bday gift.

Don't have the 725 million? , well no worries! , i heard the devil is looking for a business partner! , just check out his website ( http://www.google.com/corporate/ , just click about us )

3- Nope that's not sand , those are diamonds


As the title says , yep those are diamonds. This gift is a little cheaper than the others , i included this on the list cause i realize not everyone has 500 million USD to spend on a bday gift (SHAME ON YOU!) , so if you are a little short of budget , you can get this magnificent gift-shop-like 7 million USD diamond hourglass (hey that's a pretty cool name!)

Say what?! , you don't even have 7 million USD!? ... my my , what a cheap bastard you are . But no worries! , GMAN , as always , has a solution for your problem . Question is , what is your opinion on kids making nike's for 5 cents an hour? - if your answer is "i don't care" or "do they get free shoes?" , come talk to me. I may have a job for you .

4- Your very own country

What better way to see someone happy on their bday than to tell them "Happy Bday! , you are now the owner of The Great Neo Empire of Jesule . I for one think , that would make me tons of happy! .

As it turns out , someone decided to turn an abandoned WW2 sea station into a freaking country. It's called SEALAND , and its for sale for a mere $977 million , thanks to the generosity of thy highness , Prince Michael of Sealand (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,242351,00.html)

And if you are thinking "boy its going to be a lot of work! " , no worries! . Prince Michael already gave the "country" its own anthem , passport and currency. So nice of him!. Though i would like to be called DARTH GMAN , instead of "Prince" . Prince reminds me of Disney , not cool bro.

Don't have the money? , well you can always use the fastest and safest way to earn lots of money. Kill someone rich , pretend to be their son.



So that's it for today mates , i wish you all luck and see you soon . Hopefully , faster than 2 months. PD - Insert Pitbull song here >_>

3 comments:

ally said...

mira filipencio...
GOOGLE IS NOT THE DEVIL!
i *heart* google...
so leave it alone >.>

~ aииɑ said...

en tu suenio podre yo regalate una de esas vainas

Drivenby said...

WELL.... Google might not be the devil but they are certainly not hiding their intentions of world domination very well..

and as for you.... yo nunca he sido muy exigente con lo regalo (a meno que sea papi o mami) , nama el hecho de que me regalen me pone contento .... y no que te este pidiendo que me regale , cause i'm not.