OMG Vampires! , hundreds of them ! .... or just one... one little evil nurse that looked like a female black Yoda.... That woman unsuccessfully attempted first degree murder on me as she tried to suck up some blood for a "blood test" . It was a bloodbath , i tell you (yet another pun!) .At first i thought she was a regular good old nurse. "Don't worry" - she told me. "It won't hurt" - she repeated.
LIES AND SLANDER ,I SAY! .
First she poked me in my left arm near my elbow , like nurses usually do . I found nothing strange with this since its the place where they normally sting you . After playing around with the needle stuck inside
of me for 2 minutes (she claims she was searching for the vein.... but it "ran away") and me going Vanilla White over the process , she decided to look for the vein somewhere else........ WHERE TO?! , you ask me ; TO MY FRIGGIN HAND , i answer. YES! , APPARENTLY , its also allowed (well she said it was...) to get blood from THE HAND ... Why don't they do it then if it's easier? ... BECAUSE IT HURTS LIKE HELL.
Well , not something a Manly Man like me can't take , anyways. So she goes for the SECOND (Number 2) sting! . And once again , she keeps playing with the freaking needle inside of me trying to search for the vein. This time RAGE (a moment of silent for the girlish sob i made here) takes over so i don't go Vanilla White. After 2 minutes of probably cutting some ligaments and/or muscles needed for my dominant hand , she gives up and tries for another spot. That's the spirit! , keep on trying and never give up! (if you are not messing with someone else's arm , that is)
This time
she goes for the... wait for it... THE FRIGGIN WRIST. Yes , the wrist can also be used for blood tests (so she says) ... So for the 3rd time she stings me , this time on my RIGHT WRIST ( i told her i needed my left hand to write and for other .... uhm... important stuff) .So as you probably guessed by now... she once again played with fucking needle for 5 minutes , destroyed some fibers.... oh and she forgot to mention it hurts more than in the hand. Never mind that she couldn't find the vein.
F%^&%^*&%(&%(^$*^*^&*%&^#%&#$&$&&$%& - YOU@!
So for the ... wha
t is it now? , 4th time? (we were trying to remember if this was the 3rd or 4th attempt) ...she stings me. This time in the FRIGGIN MIDDLE OF MY FOREARM. Did it hurt? - oh yes it did. I don't even blink when its near the elbow , this time i was trying not to scream "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME ?! " . Lucky for me and my arms , she found the slippery vein and got the damn blood out. I'm sure my above average blood will fit her devilish tastes. If not , me and Buffy are gonna pay her a visit. So now you might be wondering , "By all gods GMAN! , Why in the world did you need a blood test!" - Simple answer for that mate! , this weekend has been.... erhm chaotic. I woke up Saturday morning with a 40 fever and the doctor that treated me for my previous illness thought that it might be a relapse, so he ordered me a bunch of test (Blood , Urine , Xray) . I had blood done that same weekend but the results weren't exactly... normal , so just to make sure he wanted me to get another test today. "But are you ok now GMAN?! , You know we can't live without you!" - FEAR NOT! , My loyal readers. For the GMAN is strong and mighty , surrendering to some illness is not in my plans!.
BTW , they only had to sting me twice in the weekend!.
