Hello and Welcome to this week post , brought to you by Coca Cola. "Coca Cola , there's only one like it".
Moving on , this week we have a rather interesting post. The Gman Institute of Technology and Research (GITR) have conducted studies regarding the phenomena known as "Hell Week". Their studies have found some rather interesting ways that will surely make Hell week easier for all of you. For those of you that don't know what HW is , i will explain.
HW is the time period a college/school chooses for you to suffer. No its not just exam week! ; its also a week about suffering and pain. And although its called Hell "Week" , it can actually last up to 3 weeks. 3 fucking weeks!. But have no fear my loyal readers , here is a guideline that will surely (maybe) help you survive hell week successfully.
GUIDE TO SURVIVE HELL WEEK , By GITR . v1.0
1-Red Bull is you friend. In order to survive hell week you must buy AT LEAST one six pack of red bulls. -
Hah! , you think you are tough right? , you think you don't need that shit? ; Try studying embryology at 2 A.M and come and tell me that.
2-Coffee is your other friend. Studies by the GITR show that Coffee does help to keep you awake. They have also found that the combination of COFFEE and COCA COLA , although potentially bad for your body (read : kill you) have proven to be twice as effective . Use it at your own risk.
3-You don't deserve to have FUN. So after 5 hours of studying you start thinking " i have studied enough... i'm tired... i deserve some fun" ---- WRONG you LAZY BUM (vago) , you don't deserve to have FUN. It's called HELL week not FUN week. Having "FUN" in 'Hell' Week is NEVER a good idea. Besides , fun is for losers .
4-You don't deserve to watch p0rn. Now this has never even crossed my mind but i know some of you have thought about it. So just substitute the word "fun" with "p0rn" in the above recommendation. Why someone would think this is a good idea is BEYOND me.
5-You will get hungry. The GITR have discovered that the average student gets hungry every 10 minutes. They just never admit it. In order to successfully survive HW you will need to buy lots of crap ---- erhm i mean food. Cheetos , Doritos , Ruffles , Platanitos (say wut) , you name it!. IF you are in the house of one your friends, you shall ask your friend to tell his mother to make sandwiches. TRUST ME , some moms have magical powers and or magical ham/cheese , the point IS that the results are CHOCOPOP's level of delicious (i'm sure no one will get that reference)
6-Sleep is for the Weak. Hell Week isn't any ordinary week. It's a time where little boys become men.... a time when your will and determination are tested. The recommended sleeping time for HW is 4 hours. So your schedule will look like this (Study 7 hours - Eat 1 hour - Study 7 hours - Sleep 4 hours -Study some more) . Of course , this could all be avoided if you did something as stupid as say :study every day , read your assignments , do homework , ask your teacher if you don't understand something , etc. But all that stupid stuff are not something real MEN do. Real MEN study the day before the exam and come out victorious (or at least close to it in most cases). So HOOZAH SPARTANS!.
7- And in the 7th day , Thou Shalt Get DRUNK. YOU SURVIVED HELL WEEK! (or at least you think you did) . Well time to celebrate and get some hoes ! (or manwhores for my female audiences). Big Hoozah for you partner! , you deserve it. So when you go and buy your red bulls dont forget to buy that VICTORY (read :VICTORY , as in after HW , NOT DURING) sixpack of beer!.
DISCLAIMER : Drinking redbull for 7 days and then drinking lots of alcohol is generally not a good idea. Gman industries in no way endorses this behavior. Do it at your own risk.
PS: Thanks to that awful (you know who you are ) first comment i got (the one with the Russian attempting to write in english) i will allow comments to be posted in the native writers language. That way it will be easier for some of you.
Thank you and Good Luck to you all! , my HW is coming in 2 weeks or so.
One more thing , INDY4 is a bitch.
A
8 years ago
3 comments:
lucky u!!
my hell week is like... oh it is hell week!!!! la la la la.... n guess what... i haven't studied n it's already the day of the test.... funny huh?? XD
n u still haven't found out who's the mystery writer... i thought u had better spy skills man... oops... nah... that was me XD!
later gator!
my first comment was not that awful, i know mi ingles is not so bright, but I at least try, jajjajajja, and i disagree with you, when you said that while been in HW you only need or should sleep 4 hours... that's not true. i know the dark side that is inside you, but i don't know.... i think that what you just said before is far from truth.
P.D. we will talk about this during our HW.
Oh that one about sleeping is filled with sarcasm.
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